Transforming your Something Old into Something New

There’s something really special about putting your mark on something isn’t there? To have something that’s a little unique and meaningful to us. I always think this of my late nan’s jewellery. I used to sit in her smoky flat (menthol cigarettes; as she always told us “I don’t drink or gamble so this is my only vice!”)with my brother and we used to play shops. She had this jewellery box filled with treasures and my most favourite thing to do was to take out the rings, one by one, from the red velvet top layer. 

I loved looking at the detail in the creamy opal ring (her birth stone) surrounded by tiny diamonds; peering through the transparent purple amethyst cabochon and admiring the facets along the stone; admiring the detail along the arms of the yellow gold bands (it was always yellow gold)…she would tell me stories about her jewellery and she would play shopkeeper while my brother and I would go and purchase her rings from the jewellery store.

She also had china flower brooches that had been delicately painted, crystal necklaces (one clear and one navy) that she no longer wore and a charm bracelet filled with charms. She would tell me about how her dad bought her a charm to add on every time she was poorly and I remember vividly the tiger’s claw that hung from the links, which kind of fascinated me and terrified me in equal measure. She had obviously been very poorly as a child as that bracelet was overfilled with little trinkets and weighed a tonne!

After she passed away, I was allowed to keep some of the jewellery. I chose a necklace with pearlescent droplets that reminded me of opals and a gold ring with a small sapphire in the centre and circles of diamonds surrounding it.

Did I do anything with those pieces?

Not as much as I could have done, but knowing they were there was enough to keep her memory alive. I had one of her brooches in my brooch bouquet but I thought I’d actually lost the ring when I moved in with Pete. I was devastated.

Years after she’d passed, after a pretty rough couple of weeks with very little sleep and feeling very down, I went to the doctor for some help. He thought it might have been a delayed reaction to the grief of losing my Nan (very delayed, but I had been living abroad when she died) and told me to write and find things that belonged to her to help.

I went home, looked in a box and low and behold, there it was, the ring that belonged to my nan, tucked away in a small jewellery box in the corner of a packing box. It was like she was there again; I never saw her wear that ring but it provoked a memory of being in her living room, listening to her justify her packet a day habit, drinking Diet Coke and scoffing mini mars bars - I feel now for my poor mum having to deal with us after being there, high on sugar and caffeine!

That’s what makes the difference. In a world where fashion is fast and we’re struggling to keep up, the little details get lost. And that’s why I want to make sure that doesn’t happen. Those memories are precious; and if you’re lucky enough to have all your loved ones there to celebrate your big day then that is magical, but unfortunately, for most of us, we will have lost a few souls along the way that we wished could have seen us step from Miss to Mrs.

It’s why I search for weeks for pieces to go in your bouquet or hair piece when you don’t have any of your own. It may not be your history but pieces with a story are far more interesting than a bulk buy on eBay or from the wholesalers in China. It really does matter and that’s what makes the process worth every penny.

When you have pieces of your own jewellery to include, I feel so lucky to be able to pay respect to them by incorporating them in to your wedding accessories. I respect their quirks and don’t mind the challenge of combining clashing colours, if it means something to you. It’s that broken watch face from grandad that sits at the centre of your bouquet, mum’s brooch that forms the central feature of your hair vine or nan’s old earrings that are included in a buttonhole. It’s like they become a part of it. As my bride, Katie, said: “It felt like my grandparents were with me” - how lovely is that? Those are the things that make a difference; the rest is all decoration.

How would you cherish a lost loved one in your wedding? I’d love to hear below and if you enjoyed reading this post, feel free to share it or send me a message and let me know :)